The word on the street is the HomePod isn’t selling well so we must rush ourselves to the type-y machines and spread the bad word.

Writing for TNW, Abhimanyu Ghoshal says “Apple sucks at selling HomePods.”

[gif of whatever the character it is that Benicio del Toro plays in The Last Jedi pausing and then saying “Maybe.”]

Less than half a year since it became available, sales of Apple’s HomePod are already slowing to a crawl.

Yes, two and a half months is definitely less than half a year. That math checks out. Please proceed. You’re doing really great so far.

Bloomberg reports that the company has canceled orders with one of the manufacturers of its $350 smart speaker owing to low interest in the product.

This makes it sound like Apple has canceled all orders for the HomePod. The Bloomberg report, however, says the company “lowered sales forecasts and cut some orders.” The good Lord knows these reports are never inaccurate in any way ever, but the vagueness of the report on numbers and the middling reviews of the HomePod make The Macalope somewhat inclined to believe it, unlike the reports a few months ago that Apple was cutting iPhone X part orders in half because, yeah, sure, they thought they’d sell 50 or 60 million in a quarter, do you even hear yourself talking, Pamela?

But Ghoshal doesn’t even do a good job of convincing us how bad off the HomePod is.

Just how bad are its sales, you ask?

Well, the Macalope did not ask, but forces beyond his control have brought us to this conversation so you might as well answer your own rhetorical question.

According to market research firm Slice Intelligence, it now commands only 19 percent of the voice-activated speaker market in the US.

19 percent?! And it’s $349?! That is actually really good. The problem is the trajectory, which is reportedly down sharply. But if Apple could maintain a 19 percent share, that would be cuckoo monkey cycle bananasly awesome.

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